Little Flower

Journal entry: 26 June 2023

Little flower,

I know not yet the texture of your skin or the pucker of your lips, or the way your eyes catch the light 

I know not yet the sound of your cooing, or your smile when you look up at me 

And I know not yet the smell of your hair when I cradle you to my heart 

Skin to skin.

Oh, little flower

But how well I already know the tiny flickers of your touch 

And your love of peaches

And your distaste for salmon.

I knew you were here, from the very beginning

Without worldly confirmation, without a test

A sudden feeling of your presence, saying that I was no longer alone

Just instinct. Just connection.

How true our love is, before we even know each other’s eyes

Just my voice, and your kicks 

Just my taps, and your taps back.

How pure our bond is, in this hidden place

Our first secret  

Your little hands, closer to me than my thoughts  

My oxygen, your own air 

My world, your world

My laughter, your joy 

Oneness like I’ve never known.

Oh, little flower 

You are chosen

You are ordained 

You are predestined 

Intricately woven with marvel, wonder and love 

My body, a mere vessel 

Temporarily selected to house your fascinating soul, already too small to contain your giant spirit.

What have I done to deserve someone as tender as you?

All my wants, yearnings and the silent whispers of my heart

They mixed together with God’s DNA and my blood

And so you were breathed to life.

I cannot take credit for your beauty 

For you belong to Him before you are ever mine 

And so from Him you will find your life 

In Him you must place your trust 

And through Him must you move and be and seek your joy.

– For Aleiyah Lee, written at 20 weeks.