A Girl Like Her

I poured my love into her, lacking limitation or reticence

From the moment I knew she was hidden inside of me, till the day she was born, through her life, and now.

I said to her, whispered in her ear, “You are everything now. I’ll love you forever.”

And those words will linger on my breath through life’s changing seasons, rhythms and climates

For what are words but immortalised vows? And what is love but immortalised faith?

I’ll always be grateful that I had said that to her

Because when life brings you someone so mesmerising

As if Tinkerbell herself curated her pixie hair and cherubic cheeks, and sprinkled fairy dust across her skin

Untainted by a cruel world, unblemished by man’s greed and evil, not speckled by sin and ambition

Too sacred for the world to look upon, then and now

And that someone loves you back with the same force with which you love them

Then nothing

Utterly nothing 

Can change the truth of what you feel. 

Not sickness, nor death, nor time passed, nor time never had 

Nor environment, nor medical intimidation

Nor man’s selfish heart, nor people’s callous words

You would give anything 

And you would love, and love irrevocably 

Even when it shatters your heart till there’s a physical pang between your ribs

Even when it means you can never be completely whole again

Even when no one around you can fathom your suffering.

Because that’s how you love

That’s the strength by which she made you a mother. 

And for her, you would do anything 

In her life, and even after that. Especially after that. 

So I poured myself into her 

Every chamber of my heart

I said, “Here, take my heart” in the figurative sense, but wishing it could be in the natural world too

Because she deserved that. 

She deserved to learn that when people love you, they show up for you 

And they fight for you

And they will sit with you while you go through the darkness.

I could not give her a lot of the things that she deserved in this life, but I’m grateful for that 

That she knew she was loved, and is loved, and always will be loved

That she learnt unconditional love within just 38 weeks and 20 days

And she showed it back to us too

A love that many will not find with 80 years.

And no measure of time or struggle will make that less so

Because a girl like her, enchanting and dainty, alters you in colossal ways that you can never return from

In ways that eternally mark you. 

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”

– Draft extract. For Aleiyah Lee

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