Remembering You

I wanted to hold your hand
As I carried you on my hip
Let you feel the face of a leaf
Point up at the stars
That one is you
And that’s me
And that’s Daddy
I wanted to show you the vastness of the world
From our small corner of the planet
Teach you how to roll honey off your tongue
And wiggle your toes on the fluffy rug
Look baby, it’s a bird in the tree!
And watch your eyes marvel in glee
Feel you hold on tight
As we snuggle on the couch
But now I lie here
Alone in our spot
Taking naps without you kicking my tummy
I watch the bird in our tree
As she makes her nest
And I wonder what I could’ve done
To have you in my nest today
There are years ahead to live without you now
Things to see, wishing you were here
Clutching at my legs
Up, Mama!
Oh, this great world we would’ve walked together
I’m left to imagine how you would have been
When you saw the ocean for the first time
Or found your fingers and toes
When you’d look up at me
When scared or hurt
And I wanted to hold your hand
As you sat on my hip
Let you feel a rose petal
Point at the shiny moon
Look, baby, this is a butterfly!
Show you the greatness of Earth
Now I hold on to our Maker
And try to believe
In a future promised to us
When this life will be no more
And time will not exist
You’ll skip through the lily field
Your hair free
And your run strong
You’ll hold my hand
And take me to the edge of the galaxy
Point below
Look, Mama, at the stars and the shiny moon!
You’ll tell me about how leaves form
And the way roses shine in the sun that never sets
You’ll show me the smallness of Earth
In the greatness of eternity
And teach me about how the oceans hug the seas
And I’ll look back at you
No longer wondering who you would have turned out to be.